The Truth About Unequal Yokes, Part 2
(2 Corinthians 6:14-17)

The Impact of Fellowship

Fellowship is probably one of the most misunderstood, yet more vital aspects of our walk with God. (Who you choose to be close reflects who you are OR dictates who you become). Doth not nature teach us some things? Do you realize that if a well person walks into a room full of sick people that his wellness won't affect their illness. However, let a person with a life-threatening virus which affects the very atmosphere walk into the room (e.g., the movie "Outbreak"). Not only will it affect the people in the room, but it will move into the ventilation system and affect everyone nearby. This illustrates the negative effects of fellowship, but I want to present a broad perspective. First, we'll define fellowship. Then we'll show its negative and positive aspects. No man is an island. Fellowship is important.

Let's start in 2 Corinthians 6:14-17. Paul is not giving guidelines for dating. Instead, he is making solid, poignant statements about fellowship - light cannot dwell (abide continuously and comfortably) with darkness. An interesting rhetorical question after reading this passage is: Why date or marry someone that you shouldn't even fellowship with?

What is fellowship? The term fellowship is defined by the American Heritage Dictionary as a union of friends or equals sharing similar interests. Observation of the definition in Strong's leads to the phrase social intercourse. Usually, when we hear the term intercourse, we think of something sexual, but the term actually exceeds those boundaries in many cases. The American Heritage Dictionary, again, defines intercourse as interchange between persons or groups (communication). In close correlation, another source stated that intercourse is an exchange of ideas and principles. After considering these definitions, the question is: What do you have to exchange with someone who does not share similar interests with you - saved or not??????? More directly, what do they have to offer you (from the perspective of a complete package)??????? Remember (or consider) that marriage is an interactive, two-way street that requires give AND take. Needless to say, courting highlights the same principles in infantile-like stages. In other words, courtship involves the sharing of ideas and principles (including likes, dislikes, preferences and moral status - mental intimacy). If you are considering someone for marriage that is not saved, no matter how good it may look, this individual IS NOT a defender of the cross. This person has not denied himself and taken up his cross daily to follow Jesus. The main problem here is illustrated by Paul's statement in 1 Corinthians 15:33, Be not deceived: evil communications (fellowship/companionship) corrupt good manners (moral standards). A person who IS saved, but is not walking properly before the Lord poses the same threat as an unsaved person. The end result of mental intimacy with someone who does not embrace the things of God is the deterioration of your moral standards. You may not become just like them, but you can and will stray from the course that the Lord has established for your life. This is also illustrated in the quote from 2 Chronicles in the previous section. Jehoshapat was a man that strove to please God. God knew what would happen to him, however, if he became mixed up with the wrong group. Be not deceived!!! Take a look at yourself and the leagues you make with people. Are they influencing you or vice versa. The unsaved have one nature pulling at them, the nature of flesh - living according to the course of this world. We who know the Lord have the pull of two natures - the flesh is lusting against the Spirit and the Spirit against the flesh, one contrary to the other so that you cannot do the things that you would. If we don't provide God with the avenues in our lives that allow Him to influence us properly, we'll be more privy to walk after the flesh. Keeping incorrect company will make you more susceptible to the flesh.

After hearing these statements, someone must be asking the question - Does this mean that I can't have any unsaved friends? In response, I want to draw your attention back to the definitions for fellowship and highlight the word "exchange." Jesus himself ate and spent time with publicans and sinners. In the process, He was able to share the gospel with them. The term "exchange" is highlighted by the idea of giving and taking. In these types of situations, Jesus was giving but He wasn't taking. Here's an example. If you go to lunch with some people that aren't saved, this is an opportunity to share the lifestyle of the gospel without necessarily preaching (but speak if the Lord unctions you). Don't be ashamed to bless your meal (see Acts 27:35). Don't receive the dirty jokes (that's what jesting means in Ephesians 5:4) and backbiting. Treat everyone with respect (1 Peter 2:17). Can you see the give and take exemplified by this type of setting? [NOTE: You probably won't be invited to lunch too often when people know that you won't partake in their dirt. We'll begin to covering things like this in Christians in the Workplace premiering next issue.] The idea shown by this illustration is that you don't allow people to change your moral standards by receiving what they do or say which violates the fear of the Lord in your life (Proverbs 23:17). When you do this, you haven't really fellowshipped with them because give and take did not occur on your part. Is that clear now? This should free up some of us to minister more effectively now, and dispel the fear of interaction with the unsaved.

I think we all realize some of the dangers of ill fellowship. Now, let's cover its benefits and their impact on relationships.

• Its Necessity : Proverbs 27:17 says: (Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend). Fellowship puts us in a position to partake of the grace of God that He has deposited in other people's lives. Many times, a blessing that we are looking to receive in the form of encouragement, friendship or otherwise, actually resides in the bounds of fellowship. Likewise, when God blesses you with something, the greatest thing you can do is give it back to the body of Christ - in the same form that you received it or greater. The proverb is trying to illustrate the principal of mutual benefit under proper circumstances. Both knives must be sharp, however. You can't improve the condition of the sharp knife by attempting to sharpen it against a dull one. A chef sharpens two good knives by raking them against one another. Afterwards, his tools are better prepared for service. God intends on doing the same for us through fellowship. You and I will never be what we ought without someone else sowing into our lives.
  
  
• Its Precedent : Acts 2:42-43 says, And they continued stedfastly in the apostles' doctrine and fellowship, and in breaking of bread, and in prayers. And fear came upon every soul: and many wonders and signs were done by the apostles. God has ordained that certain blessings flow from fellowship. Note the result of the disciples' fellowship in the early church -- Fear came upon every soul. Unfortunately, because many Christians misunderstand fellowship, we classify any time that we get together as fellowship. The litmus test of true fellowship is its effect after we've come out of the situation. Did the situation result in a greater fear and reverence for God? Do you know more about the Lord than you did before? Are you comforted in your circumstances? Did you repent or confess your faults? Do you have a greater consciousness of what's going on in the body of Christ that affects you? Check yourself. Were you gathering or scattering? If you were gathering, then that was fellowship. If people were being put in a position where they are further from the glory of God, that wasn't fellowship. So-called fellowship without continuance in the other three is not really fellowship at all - not the kind God prescribes. Have you been fellowshipping? If not, seek the Lord for wisdom regarding this aspect of your life. Precedents have been established that we must follow in order to be successful.
  
  
• Its "Checking" Value : Contrary to popular belief, a friend will put you in your place when necessary. Proverbs 27:6 says, Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful. Ephesians 5:11 says, And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them. Psalm 141:5 says, Let the righteous smite me; it shall be a kindness: and let him reprove me; it shall be an excellent oil, which shall not break my head: for yet my prayer also shall be in their calamities. Each one of these verses illustrates the effect we can have on one another when someone isn't doing quite the right thing. This is an element that will always present itself in relationships. We must have the ability to give, as well as receive constructive criticism in order to be successful in relationships (we'll deal with this also in a future column).
  
  
• Its Relationship Value : Put all of the aforementioned information together from a relationship vantage point, and you'll come to understand that those who enter into courtship or marriage should have an excellent tool at work in their lives. The man or woman who has a spouse with the ability to sharpen, encourage, reprove and protect -has a complete package. A relationship that has been allowed to grow according to the standards of God should represent true friendship and includes all its benefits. The person you end up in a relationship with SHOULD BE your friend prior to. If you enter an intimate male/female relationship without true friendship, your relationship will lack the "glue" necessary for success. True friendship shows unselfishness, forbearance, protection, truth, provision (spiritually and naturally), mercifulness and dedication.

One last comment about fellowship that I shared in a Singles Ministry service recently. Fellowship is free. It takes a sacrifice (Hebrews 13:16), but it's free. With such sacrifices, God is well pleased. Brothers and sisters, if you'll make the sacrifice of fellowship one of the benefits is that you'll get to know your Christian siblings without the attachment of financial and emotional strings. Too many brothers are upset about the money they spent taking a sister to dinner when she didn't even like him. Too many sisters are complaining about the brother who was playing with her mind and spending all that one-on-one time with her. Eliminate this anxiety by fellowshipping with the saints. This way you can get to know someone, without all the frills, and see if they're worth the investment of quality time. Don't find this out after wasting time and spending money that you could have used to pay off some of those debts running wild in your life. You'll be glad you did.