SNAP OUT OF IT!
Many of us have heard it, seen it, know someone who has done it or it currently doing it...a good single, Christian man that is courting a woman for all the wrong reasons. My heart is heavy today because of Satan's non-countered attack on the brethren concerning women.
Before I get too deep into this message let me clarify that many (if not all) of the following statements are directed toward my single brothers in Christ. Why? In scripture, this type of focus is always directed at the men -- catalysts of blessings in the home. The man is the head of the woman, just as Christ is the head of the church. Because of this, men should walk very circumspectly. In turn, single brothers who desire to be married must be careful whom they allow into their heads and hearts -- including a "love interest". If single Christian men will take advantage of their singleness of maximize it, families will be a lot better off. One reason is because they will know better than to enter into the marriage covenant with a "strange woman".
The word of God gives several direct warnings about men becoming romantically interested in women who don't take the things of God to heart (e.g., Exodus 34:12-16; Deuteronomy 7:1-4 and Joshua 23:11-13). These warnings are usually associated with the influence that the children of God will be subject to because of the association. In many instances, these women are referred to as "strange women". Throughout biblical history, many men of God have been sidetracked at the hands of the strange woman. How can you tell if you or someone you know if caught up in this manner? It's usually quite obvious. For the sake of truth, however, let's examine some observational characteristics and, of course, see what the word of God is saying about the matter.
If you talk to a brother who is interested in a "strange woman", his list of qualifications (or reasons why he cares for, likes and/or dates her goes something like this:
- "She's soooooooo beautiful";
- "She's really smart and successful";
- "She's everything I've ever wanted";
- "I just can't stop thinking about her" or
- "Her eyes just make me want to melt, etc.".
The brother is so caught up in her outward appearance, worldly accomplishments and how she boosts his ego that he doesn't have time to observe and embrace the truth. If and when he does see the truth, he ignores it or finds a way to make light of it. He won't say things about her such as:
- "She really respects the word of God";
- "I thank God she can "get a prayer through";
- "She's beautiful AND she has integrity";
- "I can tell that she will make a great mother" or
- "She's really wise and prudent".
He won't be able to make these statements (honestly) because these attributes simply aren't readily available for observation. In other words, he won't say it because he can't!!! He has been hypnotized (if you win). He's not himself. He's not alert. His focus is on other things to the point that he's left off being wise. My plea to the brothers that this applies to is SNAP OUT OF IT!!!!!!!
I keep saying "strange woman", but some of you may not be clear on what constitutes being a strange woman and why all the fuss over avoiding them. King Solomon provides us with quite a bit of information regarding the strange woman. Unfortunately, he was caught up in this area, even after being warned. Solomon's sin with the strange women (700 wives, princesses and 300 concubines) turned his heart after other gods. The situation became so bad that in 1 Kings 11:9-13, the Lord confronts Solomon, informing him "I will surely rend the kingdom from thee, and will give it to thy servant." Solomon provides the following information regarding strange women, order that we might positively identify them and refrain from making covenant with them.
- Proverbs 7:21-23 says, "With her much fair speech she caused
him to yield, with the flattering of her lips she forced him. He goeth
after her straightway, as an ox goeth to the slaughter, or as a fool
to the correction of the stocks; Till a dart strike through his liver;
as a bird hasteth to the snare, and knoweth not that it is for his life." Proverbs
2:16 and 5:1-6 also offer great insight into the "operation" and agenda
of the strange woman. The strange woman is "slick". She knows just what
to say and how to say it, to the point that she can get men to do what
they would not have done or what whey don't want to do under normal circumstances.
The enticing words she uses may seem appealing, but as chapter five declares, "her
end is as bitter as wormwood and sharp as a two-edged sword." I
need not tell you that this is highly unpleasant. An example of how the
strange woman operates appears in great detail in Proverbs 7:6-23. Proverbs
6:26 declares, "For by means of a whorish woman a man is brought
to a piece of bread: and the adulteress will hunt for the precious life." Is
your life precious? This is important for all brothers to understand,
but especially those who have a ministerial call on their life. People
in ministry affect multitudes. Therefore, if the enemy can discourage,
sidetrack, hinder or deceive you, it will make his job easier. If the
devil can trick you to consider or enter a relationship with a carnal
minded or unsaved person (one who is at the enemy's beck and call), it
will be like having a double agent behind enemy lines. It will cause
you more grief than you can imagine (e.g., Samson).
- Proverbs 2:17 states, "She forsakes the guide of her youth...." In
other words, she does not embrace or value the guidance she received while
she was a young woman/girl -- a free spirit, if you will. People who are
free spirits are wild and rambunctious. Considering that foolishness is bound
in the heart of a child, those who instructed us when we were younger were
helping to deliver us from foolishness. The strange woman is not free from
foolishness, but flaunts it and/or boasts about what she does.
- Proverbs 2:17 also states that, "...she forgets the covenant of
her God." The word "forgetteth" in this passage means "to be oblivious".
In other words, she's ignorant of the covenant with the Father. This is
one of the greatest tell-tale signs that a brother is dealing with a strange
woman. What does she know about the Lord? What type of knowledge is portrayed
in her walk? Can she "hear" the word of the Lord (1 John 8:47). If God's
people are destroyed for a lack of knowledge, why would a brother be interested
in someone on the path of destruction? If she is ignorant of, or won't
keep her covenant with the Father, what makes you think she's going to
keep a covenant (of marriage) with you? Many brothers have ignored this
sign. Don't be one of them. You've got a chance to overcome this. You're
still single!
- Proverbs 2:18-19 states, For her house inclineth unto death,
and her paths unto the dead. {19} None that go unto her return again,
neither take they hold of the paths of life. The strange
woman has a sordid past. Her house inclines to death (it's a death trap)
and her paths are geared toward the dead. The brothers who have frequented
her house in the past are suffering or have suffered because of their
choice (spiritually and possible physically). My brothers, dealing with
a strange woman CAN AND WILL COST YOU!!! Many of you, including myself,
that have been or almost were caught in a trap like this can remember
the "dilemmas" you were exposed to when you went to.......her house.
Proverbs 7:27-27 says, For she hath cast down many wounded: yea,
many strong men have been slain by her. Her house is the way to hell,
going down to the chambers of death. This doesn't negate the fact
that the strange woman might come to your house and do the same things.
In addition to the "her house" factor, be aware of where her ex-boyfriends
are. If her prior boyfriends turned their back on God or forsake their
testimony in Christ, it could well be a sign of who you are dealing with
(none that go unto her return again)!!!!!!!
- Proverbs 7:11 says, "She is loud and stubborn; her feet abide not in her house." This passage doesn't need much explaining. This woman is obnoxious. She is loud (obnoxious, without tact, rude). She is stubborn -- a far cry from the woman of a meet and quiet spirit as spoken of in 1 Peter 3:4. First Samuel 15:23 says that stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry. Solomon also states that she likes to "run the streets". Beware the woman who always has to be active (go somewhere, do something, see someone). Life isn't about "busyness", but about the handling of responsibility.
In addition to Solomon, other men in scripture had encounters with strange women that are worth noting:
- Jacob was so gripped by Rachel's beauty that he worked 14 years for the
right to marry her (Genesis 29:17-29). As beautiful as she was, Rachel still
worshipped idols in her heart. This "problem" eventually led to her own death
as she stole one of her father's idols and Jacob pronounced a curse on the
thief, not knowing that it was his wife.
- The beauty of Delilah gripped Samson (Judges 16). His relationship with
her eventually cost him his sight and his life. Brothers, a relationship
with the wrong woman can cost you your spiritual sight and affect your entire
life.
- Saul was pleased to give his daughter Michal to David for the purpose of destroying him. 1 Samuel 18:21 says, And Saul said, I will give him her, that she may be a snare to him, and that the hand of the Philistines may be against him. Saul's plan backfired initially, but it was this same daughter that despised David in her heart in 2 Samuel 6:16 as he rejoiced about the return of the ark of the Lord. Michal ended up barren for the rest of her life.
When a brother thinks he may have found his wife, he must consider the following scriptural points:
- Proverbs 10:22: The blessing of the LORD, it maketh rich,
and he addeth no sorrow with it.
- James 1:17: Every good gift and every perfect gift is
from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness,
neither shadow of turning.
- Proverbs 19:14: House and riches are the inheritance
of fathers: and a prudent wife is from the LORD.
- Proverbs 30:21-23: For three things the earth is disquieted, and for four which it cannot bear: For a servant when he reigneth; and a fool when he is filled with meat; For an odious woman when she is married; and an handmaid that is heir to her mistress.
What can a brother do to escape the strange woman? In several of the passages we discussed, the word of God declares itself as the remedy. Brothers, don't just be hearers, but be doers of the word. She might be beautiful, but make up your mind to trust God. She might be "the cat's meow", but you belong to the King and need to protect what God has invested in you. She might appear to be a dream come true, but if you disregard the word of God, your dream will turn out to be a nightmare (one that you won't wake up from if you're not careful). Proverbs 5:8-13 says, Remove thy way far from her, and come not nigh the door of her house: Lest thou give thine honour unto others, and thy years unto the cruel: Lest strangers be filled with thy wealth; and thy labours be in the house of a stranger; And thou mourn at the last, when thy flesh and thy body are consumed, And say, How have I hated instruction, and my heart despised reproof; And have not obeyed the voice of my teachers, nor inclined mine ear to them that instructed me! Proverbs 7:1-5 says, My son, keep my words, and lay up my commandments with thee. Keep my commandments, and live; and my law as the apple of thine eye. Bind them upon thy fingers, write them upon the table of thine heart. Say unto wisdom, Thou art my sister; and call understanding thy kinswoman: That they may keep thee from the strange woman, from the stranger which flattereth with her words.
Lastly, consider the contrast of these two verses:
- Proverbs 22:14: The mouth of strange woman is a deep
pit: he that is abhorred of the LORD shall fall therein.
- Ecclesiastes 7:26: And I find more bitter than death the woman, whose heart is snares and nets, and her hands as bands: whoso pleaseth God shall escape from her; but the sinner shall be taken by her.
To the brothers who may be in a relationship with a strange woman, repent!!! If you have fallen, get up!!! Seek the Lord today for strength and recover yourselves out of the snare of the devil. To the brothers who aren't in a relationship, keep yourselves in the love of God. To you all, remember more words from Solomon, For a whore is a deep ditch; and a strange woman is a narrow pit. She also lieth in wait as for a prey, and increaseth the transgressors among men. (Proverbs 23:27-28).
My brothers, don't settle for Delilah when God wants you to have a Sarah. Don't get excited about a Michal, when God has a Ruth waiting for you to maximize your singleness and be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids (Proverbs 6:25). SNAP OUT OF IT!!! WAKE UP!!! DON'T MAKE A DECISION ON OUTWARD APPEARANCE ALONE!!! Don't let the wisdom of God fall by the wayside. He desires that you be blessed through and through. Be strong, my brothers and embrace the victory that God has provided! You can overcome the strange woman . . .if you SNAP OUT OF IT!!!
Keep the word and be blessed.
Originally printed in Scenario Magazine's "Marriage Prep" Column
Volume 3, Issue 3 -- May/June 1998
Copyright © 1998-1999, Scenario Ministries International
An outreach ministry of Remnant Christian Assembly, Inc.
All rights reserved.
